I cried today. Not, I shed a couple of tears and then moved on kind of cry, no. I full on sobbed, like a baby, until my head hurt and my nose ran. Sobbed. This life. This life is hard. It’s hard and beautiful. Tonight I was reminded that I’m still human. You see, I get so wrapped up in the day to day grind, taking care of you girls, running errands, managing the household and trying to be the glue that keeps everything and everyone together and for the first time in a long while, I got a dose of reality, of life. It stung. It surprised me, actually. I haven’t had emotions like that in a while. All my emotions have been wrapped up in you that I sometimes forget that I can have emotions of my own. So yes, I was surprised. I was reminded tonight that this world can be so harsh and so unfair and it can kick you right in the gut when you’re already down and exhausted and think you have nothing left. I cried for myself. I pittied myself. I felt pain and it rushed over me quickly before I could try to control it. I’m kind of glad it did. It was a good reminder. I AM human. I do still have a beating heart that can get hurt. And in those moments as I sobbed, I began to think of both of you, of how one day you too will be overcome with great sadness. The world and its people will treat you unfairly and you, too, will be kicked in the gut and feel the exact emotions that I felt tonight. And then I sobbed harder because as much as I love you and as much as I will do anything in my power to protect you, I cannot protect you from that. People will disappoint you. People will hurt you. People will betray you. This is the truth about life. And when it happens, it will hurt and you will cry. You will feel such sadness and such solitude. Except remember this, you are not alone. You hear me girls? You are NOT alone. My greatest gift to each of you…each other. In your sister you will find strength, support, LOVE. Undying and unwavering. It is a bond that can never be broken, nor substituted. When this world fails you, when the people of this world wrong you, look to each other. Pick each other up. For when you are together, no world can tear you down. Remember to embrace this gift you’ve been given and cherish each other because you will need each other to navigate this world. But there is no need to fear, you have each other and with that there is strength and so much love. That is all you will ever need.
I love you both beyond the universe and back.